Personal Growth
Relationship Pies
Owning our stuff
"Owning our stuff" in relationships means taking responsibility for our actions and feelings
It's realizing that we control 100% of our own pie -- not half of a combined pie. Each person is responsible for their own stuff “inside” their own “pie.”
Accepting our own responsibility for our own pie can help us communicate better, resolve conflicts and help the relationship work.
Handouts: Home Improvement: Men in Relationship Jan 2024
Key Points: AI Summary
Key Points for a Healthy Relationship:
Individual Responsibility: Focus on your own issues instead of dividing blame equally.
Separate Pies Concept: View relationship problems as distinct issues for each person, not shared problems.
Self-Reflection: Emphasize examining and improving yourself rather than just criticizing your partner.
Courage in Self-Improvement: Addressing personal issues takes courage and commitment to becoming a better partner.
What is it to be emotionally mature?
The secret power of unsent letters
There is truth in the idea that each of us and our life stuff resembles a pie of sort.
Lots of different ingredients stuffed into our human physical and emotional shells.
Big pies, small pies, sweet pies, savoury pies etc
Each pie is so different as life is different for each of us. It is important to remember that our world is full of pies.
Our relationship with our partner is a pie all on its own. Our work life is a separate pie with all those complex ingredients and chemical reactions.
**That pies happen is part of our life journey. **
It is what happens in each pie and how the ingredients react and blend that makes a good tasting pie or a bad pie.
We are somewhat in control of how and what role we play in our pie and how we choose to react with the other ingredients.
The other interesting idea is that it usually takes heat to bake a pie and get it well cooked and tasty.
Too little heat and the pie is raw and too much heat and it get s burnt.
What part we want to play in each pie is still up to us to some extent. At the very least we can controle how we react to the other ingredients once the heat is turned up a bit.
**Handouts: Home Improvement: Men in Relationship Jan 2024 **
Key Points: AI Summary
Key Points for a Healthy Relationship:
Self and Partner Understanding: Know yourself and your partner deeply.
Friendship: Build a strong foundation of friendship.
Validation: Acknowledge and affirm each other’s feelings and experiences.
Shared Activities: Spend quality time together.
Respect: Maintain mutual respect.
Self-Care: Look after your own well-being.
Good Communication: Practice effective and open communication.
Trust: Foster trust and reliability.
Healthy Boundaries: Establish and respect personal boundaries.
Fun and Laughter: Enjoy and laugh together.
Humility and Self-Confidence: Balance humility with confidence.
Self-Sacrifice: Be willing to make sacrifices for each other.
Love: Nurture and express love.
Non-Judgment: Avoid judgmental attitudes.
Listening: Actively listen to each other.
Curiosity: Stay curious about each other’s thoughts and feelings.
Space: Allow each other space when needed.
Good Sex: Maintain a healthy and satisfying sexual relationship.
Future Planning: Plan and envision your future together.
Knowledge and Learning: Continuously learn and grow from experiences.
Financial Management: Manage money and income effectively.
Safety: Ensure physical and emotional safety.
Collaboration: Work together towards common goals.
Acceptance: Embrace each other’s differences.
Mistakes and Forgiveness: Acknowledge mistakes and practice forgiveness.
**** ONE plus ONE = WE****
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Updated: November 2023
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