Self-Reflection

Boundaries

Understanding the rules

Your opinion matters
Your opinion matters
Web Wisdom

Boundaries in relationships are like invisible rules that show how you and the people you care about want to be treated.

They help everyone understand each other's needs and feelings better. For example, if you don’t like being teased about something, setting a boundary means letting others know that.

Boundaries are important because they keep misunderstandings or arguments from happening. When everyone knows what’s okay and what’s not, relationships feel safer, happier, and more respectful.

It’s like having a map that guides how to treat each other kindly, so everyone feels valued and cared for.

130

Your Toolbox

Extract from: Owning our Struggles by Minaa B. 2023

Setting boundaries guideline.

Reminders about boundaries:

Please recognize that “I don't want to” is a very clear boundary and not another way of saying no. It's not an invitation for you to try to change someone’s mind.

Stop telling people “it's ok” when it is not.

You're probably aware that if you set a boundary, the whole dynamic of your relationship will change, maybe even fall apart.

You can have compassion for people, their struggles and their trauma and you can have boundaries and safeguard yourself from people who cause you harm and abuse due to their trauma.

When erecting boundaries with harmful people, there might be times when you have to resort to avoidance or ghosting in order to protect yourself from harm.

You cannot control how people respond to your boundaries.

Podcast & Youtube Links

How to speak up for yourself

What porcupines teach us about boundaries

Boundaries of wellbeing

PeaceBuilders Opinion 1

Having boundaries is like setting rules about how we want to be treated and how we treat others.

It’s important to respect each other’s space, feelings, and choices. But figuring out and sticking to boundaries can feel tricky sometimes.

Everyone deserves to live their life in a way that matches their own values and beliefs.

When we spend time with others—whether it’s friends, family, or classmates—it helps to talk about what’s okay and what’s not.

For example, you might say, “I need quiet time when I’m reading,” or someone else might say, “Please ask before using my things.”

Talking about boundaries can make everyone feel respected and avoid arguments later. By listening and working together, we can create a happy and peaceful space for everyone.

130

Author's Opinion

Extract from: Owning our Struggles by Minaa B. 2023

All relationships require boundaries

Boundaries are about setting limits with ourselves and others, to effectively manage our time , feel safe in our relationships, preserve our energy, and have our needs met.

ABC model:

A- Activating event: What or who triggered you?

B- Beliefs, both explicit and implicit What are the positive and the negative thoughts you have about the activating event or person?

C- Consequences (positive or negative) that manifest both behaviorally and emotionally How did you react behaviourally? How did you react emotionally? How did your body respond (shutting down, dissociation, fatigue)?

Five life boundaries: Physical Emotional Time Sectual Intelectual

Setting boundary limits BEST:

B- Boundary: What is the boundary you plan to set? And with whom?

E- Emotional awareness: What emotional responses are you experiencing as a result of wanting to set this boundary (guilt, anxiety, fear)?

S- Self-soothing: What self-soothing technique will you use to regulate these emotions (meditation, deep breathing, grounding, exercise, journaling)?

T- Alternative thoughts What negative thoughts are you experiencing? Are they rational or irrational? What is an alternative positive thought for every negative one?

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Updated: November 2023

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