Skills & tools
Difficult decisions
How to make it easier
Difficult decisions
Sometimes we have to make difficult decisions that will affect our physical or mental well being.
Sometimes its a difficult decision that relates to our circumstances or a decision that will affect someone close to us. This can be a very stressful time.
The following process shows us how to decide when we are not sure:
Step1:
Write down what the first two choices are.
Step 2:
Make a list of the positives and the negatives for each of the two choices.
Assign a value or number between 1 and 5 to each positive or negative point. (“1” being not important and “5” being very important.) List as many points as you would like to help you decide.
Step 3:
Ask yourself “ do you really want to do the one or the other choice. This is where you listen to what your body says - listen to your gut (lower stomach) You can always change your mind if you find new information or feel different later.
When you use this method you actually use two methods- the facts (i.e the numbers) and how you feel about it (i.e your emotion)
This helps you to make the decision and it can be less stressful.
**Difficult decisions **
Some decisions in life are easy but many relationship related decisions are difficult because they often involve our emotions.
Our feelings of pain or feeling hurt can impact us so much that we don't make rational decisions. Sometimes it is revenge or hate that clouds our better judgment.
Once we react or say or do something regrettable, it's too late. Done.
The better choice is maybe to just take a pause. A step back and just wait or sleep on it. Not saying anything, no texting or email. Maybe even chat to a trusted friend or counselor to get their perspective
Often we actually know deep within us what the right choice or answer that we are looking for. Definitely listen to your initial gut feeling first.
Often we talk to too many people and have too many opinions that we start second guessing our gut and let the emotion or friend influence that difficult decision.
You can do it and get through this … Just believe in yourself and be kind to yourself and those around you.
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Updated: November 2023
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